"Take heart!"

May I be perfectly honest? I am a fearful man. Not fraidy-cat scared but intensely fearful nonetheless. I will ride a mountain bike straight down a hill or fly huge traction kites capable of carrying me up to heights of thirty feet or more. As a teenager, skateboards and big ramps drew my attention. Careening near out of control down a snowy slope or climbing perfectly unsafe rock formations seem to cover my inner fear for a while. But I am still fearful. Knee knocking, trembling, stammering, and ready to bolt afraid.

What, you ask, has me so doggone terrified? Everything! The answer, quite simply is…well okay, it doesn’t seem to be so simple. Let’s see…failure, that’s an easy one; discovery, someone’s gonna find me out sooner or later; success, but I thought we all wanted that. This list could go on and on. What will people think? What will I feel? What if I say or do the wrong thing? What if I make the wrong choice? What? What? What if…? Bad thought pattern here folks.

Choice. Let’s take a look at this word for a moment. Isn’t choice the very thing separating us as men and women from everything else on the planet? What choice does a rock have on its location or anything for that matter? A rock is a rock is a… well you get the picture. And animals (though they are very cute, intelligent, and even social) live by instinct and not by choice. Every minute of every day we get to choose our actions, reactions, even our thought patterns. Sure we have to deal with circumstance; and the thoughts, whims, and actions of others. We still have the incredible opportunity to choose our own thoughts and actions. Did I say opportunity? Sometimes I feel the more appropriate phrase would be “burden of choice” not “opportunity for choice.” And here we are; back to the source of everything that gives me the big ol’ heeby-jeebies. Fear.

Fear has debilitated me and kept me in a fog for too long. I decided to confront it and see what my faith, my beliefs, and the promise of the Word of God Have to say about fear.

I sought the Lord, and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. (PSALM 34:4)

Now you’re talkin’! I can just sit back and be delivered of all my fears. But wait, I’m still feeling a bit uneasy here. Maybe I haven’t searched enough. The verse does say: “I sought the Lord.” Let’s see what else the Bible has to say about fear.

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence…There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (1 JOHN 4:16-18)

Oh man, to be made perfect in love! Sounds intriguing doesn’t it? I am starting to understand that if I want this fear to go away, something more may be required of me. Faith? Please don’t let me lose you here as I know we have all heard cliché after cliché and quick fix after slogan after mantra after…all that. What I am suggesting is simpler and deeper than I first imagined possible. Everything seems to point back to that little word: choice. Let us look at an example, from Paul's life, of faith and choice in action.

The book of ACTS, chapter 16:16-40, tells of the apostle Paul and Silas and an encounter with a slave girl. “The slave girl had a spirit by which she predicted the future. She earned a great deal of money for her owners by fortune telling.” The girl followed Paul and his fellows around shouting at and about them. After many days Paul became troubled and cast the spirit out of the girl in the name of Jesus Christ. You can well imagine the anger of the girl’s owners at the loss of such a nice income. They started a fuss, hauled Paul and Silas to the town square, riled up the crowd and the city officials who ordered them “stripped and beaten.”

After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully. Upon receiving such orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks. (ACTS 16:23-24)

Right about then is where fearful ol’ me loses sight of all choices. Beaten, jailed, and shackled. Nope, that just has me upset, hurt, angry, helpless, and without choices. Actually, I find this the way I feel most of the time as I react and shuck and jive just to get though another day without major fall-out! Earlier I mentioned mountain bike riding. Careening downhill, reacting subtly to terrain and obstacles, flying; if you will, by the seat of my pants is great fun even to my fearful self. Amazingly the real goal in activities like this is “don’t rock the boat.” Major changes or shifts when you are barely under control can and do cause catastrophic results. I have suffered torn ligaments, broken bones, scrapes and bruises in these adrenaline charged pursuits. Why then, do the everyday circumstances of life leave me breathless and weak in the knees? Perhaps this “seat of your pants” mentality works well in the fast paced, react and respond atmosphere of downhill cycling and traction kiting. I, however, find myself reacting and responding to circumstance and life much the same way. When I do this; choice gets relegated to “the path of least resistance” and ceases to be choice at all.

Let us take a look at Paul and Silas’ reaction or rather choice of action during this unfortunate set of events.

About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. (ACTS 16:25)

You’re kidding me right? I had to read this again. “Praying and singing…” I would have been less surprised if the text said they were railing at the injustice of it all or crying out in defiance ‘what about the girl we liberated’ or even better; blaming something else. Paul and Silas chose to give thanks and praise and surely to seek Gods help. Why? What would give these men such poise, such peace? They chose at this dark hour to stand on the promises of their faith in Jesus Christ. Promises stated by Jesus as he spoke to the disciples at the last supper.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. (JOHN 16:33)

“Take heart!” How encouraging just those two words. “Take heart!” They certainly set my blood to pumping faster with something like anticipation or maybe even hope. “Take heart!” There are other promises of strength, renewal, and peace all through the gospel message. These words all represent some of the things I seem to lack in my indecision and fear. Guess who suffers the most when I live life reactively, like putting out so many fires. Is it me? No, it is my children and the very people I seek to shield and guide and support. Those I love the most, those who provide me with support and love are the very ones affected by this dangerous react and respond way of life. “Take heart!” Here is a promise that God himself will restore us.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast. (2 PETER 5:10)

Many times in our lives we have been told to “just pray about it” or “we’ll pray for you.” And don’t get me wrong here. We should pray. Continually pray. Often, however, I catch my daily prayers resembling the “flare prayers” I throw out when the bike or kite pushes a little too far out of control. “Oh God help…..” The prayers of Paul and Silas were filled with praise and yes, faith. I once heard that it is not enough to merely seek Gods help but that we should seek and merit Gods divine intervention. This story finally gave me a clue as to what that statement means. Faith is an act of courage. It is an act of trust. The Word puts it like this.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (HEBREWS 11:1)

The ending of the story about Paul and Silas in prison is amazing and we will get to that part later. Right now, however, I’d like to look at the parable of the ten talents and how that also shows the ineffectiveness of a fear filled existence. Jesus tells us in MATTHEW 25:14-30 about a wealthy man beginning a long journey. Before leaving he entrusts his property to his servants. To one servant he gave five talents, another he gave two, and to another he gives only one. A talent being equal to more than one thousand dollars, he gave them “each according to his abilities.” The first and second servants immediately went to work and doubled what they had been given. The last guy, however, took his “thousand bucks” and buried it in the back yard. He took no risk, made no choices, and played it totally safe. He thought.
Upon returning home after the trip, the “boss” wants to know how his investments fared. Of course he is pleased to know that the first two have been very profitable, but upon finding out that the last investment had been buried and “kept safe” he becomes incredulous. “What? Not even a lesson learned through loss? Not even interest earned from the bank? Could you be any more ineffective?” The servant was afraid of losing anything so he sat and fretted and did nothing with what he had been given. His actions brought no blessings, no lessons about good or bad investments, no…..nothing. The other two might have lost everything given them, yet they still would have had a story, a new perspective. Life! For in the end the fearful one loses even that because he refuses to reach out and trust anything except his own fear.

How different the attitude of Paul and Silas in prison. They had been abused and beaten and still; fear of man or circumstance or consequence had no bearing on their actions. Their hope in and fear of the Lord was greater than anything else.

The fear of the Lord leads to life: Then one rests content, untouched by trouble. (PROVERBS 19:23)

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone, my hope comes from him.
(PSALM 62:5)

So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my…hand (ISAIAH 41:10)

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me. (PSALM 23:4)

The Lord is my light and salvation- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid? (PSALM 27:1)

"...But then face to face."

"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then shall we see face to face. Now I know in part; then shall I know fully, even as I am fully known. ( 1 CORINTHIANS 13:12)

My Grandma, Doris Kennington, passed on to be with the Lord; Wednesday, 3-5-2008. She will be greatly missed by our family and all who knew her. Even as I am saddened by her passing, it has been a great blessing to reflect on Grandma's life. Her outlook, attitude, and actions were all rooted in an immovable faith in God's promise and love.

Grandma's positive outlook on life and upbeat attitude had profound effect on everyone around her. She had kind and encouraging words ready at any time and was generous with her time, food, and many other things. Grandma was an excellent cook and always had room for more at her table. She was featured in our local paper as "Cook of the Week" in 1979. In that article, one can catch a glimpse of Grandma's positive attitude as she was quoted:"...keep your sense of humor...people will be more interested in the bright side...never be ashamed to say you are sorry." This was an article on cooking and she encouraged other cooks to "keep trying and tackle anything." At this point I might mention, Grandma was an avid Dallas Cowboys and Texas Tech Red Raider fan.

I was talking with my dear friend, Dr. Chris Sutton, who served as Grandma's pastor for over 13 years, and he told me of a conversation they had that gives insight to her faith and upbeat attitude. After church one day she told him that Christians who are worried and complaining about their tough time in life and are down in the dumps all the time "are living beneath their privilege as children of the Kingdom." He went on to say that, "Doris was a perfect example of that statement as I never saw her 'down' even though I knew she had difficulties, as we all do." Chris told me he would never forget what she said that day. Just one phrase, from who knows when, but it stuck! What an effect great faith and a great attitude has.

Dr. Sutton, in consoling me, mentioned the verse above. (1 CORINTHIANS 13:12) Grandma's faith has paid off as now she is "face to face" with her Lord and no longer does she "see through a glass darkly". The glass, or mirror; is not just clear now, it's gone!

The Bible, Grandma's most cherished book, describes faith as "...being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see". (HEBREWS 11:1) Grandma was "certain" of God's promise of eternal life through the salvation of His son Jesus. Now, in our grief as a family at the loss of such a remarkable matriarch, we also celebrate her life and legacy of faith. We can find joy that she is now home with the Father.
In 1935, Blanche Currier, a friend of Grandma's from Southwestern Bible School in Enid, Oklahoma, wrote this to Doris (Grandma) in her 'autograph book'.

When the golden sun is setting

and this earth no more you trod

May your name in gold be written

in the autograph of God

Doris M. Kennington (age 16)

Blanche, your beautiful thoughts have come to pass and God has brought home a true angel of a person; who walked this earth with us for a while...and left blessings where she trod.

Openly Thankful

Recently my daughter, Brianna, had a small two week science project to do for school. Though she is a straight-A student we did not learn of it until the night before it was due. Being in such dire need, she didn't hesitate to ask me for help. Megan provided construction paper, poster board, and artistic direction. Meyson and myself contibuted furiously drawn illustrations of seahorses while Brianna completed and compiled research data. As we put it all together, Meyson added hand drawn bubbles (Megan's excellent idea) to the background.

The project came out pretty well with everyone's efforts and Brianna got a passing grade. I asked Bri' if she thought the end result would have been better with more time and effort. She agreed that it would have.

When she gave her presentation, Brianna openly told her class about the work we did. She showed open and frank appreciation for our efforts on her behalf. She wasn't ashamed to say... "my Daddy did that for me!" or "my brother helped me with this!". As a father, I thought this pretty cool. Perhaps our efforts as parents, to teach the kids to be gracious is paying off.

A day or two later I was visiting with my friend, Johnny. We were discussing our individual Bible studies and he brought up Philippians 4:6

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God"

It seemed kind of familiar and the more I thought about it, the louder God's message spoke. How many times do we exaust ourselves with our own efforts before we seek His help, direction, or favor? I do it ALL the time. How often are we anxious or worried? I am more often than not. The Word says to ask with thanksgiving and have faith "do not be anxious..." Faith is pretty simply put in the bible and the best way I can see it, is in Brianna's actions here. Sure, she put off the project untill the last minute but never did she doubt that Dad would help her. Really, for the two weeks prior I would have been available for much more if she'd only said "Hey Dad, I need some help".

Brianna had no way of knowing how much help she would recieve that night from how many different sources. My relationship with God is sometimes like that. We just get so busy trying to do stuff or putting things off that we forget to ask our heavenly Father to step in. How much better would it be if we openly relied on Him and were thankful, even before the need. Just as I am my childrens' Dad; God promises to be ours...
"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty" (2 Corinthians 6:18)

When Bri' needed help (even after bad planning and procrastination) her Dad and her brother and family stepped in. That happens to me. God has placed christian brothers and sisters all around in my life. Sometimes they come through with a timely word, a hug, or even a truck. Sometimes they pray with and for us and other times just knowing they are there is enough. I don't say often enough or openly enough that God helped me and is always there for me.

I have an amazing family; my Father helped with that. I love my new job; my Father helped with that too! Maybe one day I'll put that story here. My wife is a direct gift to my family and me from our Father in heaven. Yeah, I did meet her in sunday school. The first time I'd been in over 15 years in fact. I've got incredible friends ( I occasionally call them "Bro") They have enriched my life and been great sources of wisdom, support, and encouragement; my Father did that for me! My family has been there when when I was a single dad and couldn't see from one day to the next how we'd make it; my Father helped with that!

Why have I been so anxious? Even when my faith has waned, God has been there.

Fading Light

A light is fading in my world, and yours though you may not know it. My Grandma turns 90 years old in August. She is ill, however and may not stay with us that long.
As long as I can remember I've never known her to be sick. Sure, she has had both knees replaced and uses a walker, but sick I've rarely, if ever, seen. Grandma is one of the most consistant persons I've had the pleasure to know. My whole life I could count on my Grandma's reaction to me, or to anyone for that matter. Love. Acceptance of you for you. Compassion.

She is Mother to 8 children (one of whom is my Mom) and Grandmother to... oh heck, I can't count that high. There are many great grandkids (5 being my own children), and quite a few great-greats. A full and thriving family tree is her legacy. We are varied and scattered and have more in common than blood. Some are children or grandchildren by marriage and name only, some by proximity only. We ALL are truly loved by Grandma, and every one of us love her back.

I've been lucky to live nearby most of my days. Others have been fortunate to enjoy extended visits in thier own homes far away. I've just taken it for granted that Grandma would always be here. She won't be. And that is hard to accept. She's always encouraged. Always celebrated our successes and achievements. Always cried for our pain and suffered loss alongside. How very fortunate I have been!

My Grandma has always been there. Right in the very house in which she lived when I was born. I wish I had visited more. I wish I had basked in her affection more. I wish I had said I love you more. I wish...

Grandma has lived a life of light. A full life. When you spend time with her you want to be a little warmer to those around you. A little more... loving, a little less judgemental. She has lived a life of faith. Faith in God. Faith in the better natures of all she encounters. Grandma has spread alot of light with her laughter, her smile, her pies & cakes (she spent time growing up in a bakery), but mostly through her incredible faith. I'm not in any way saying Grandma had an easy life; those are stories for another time; I am, however saying that Grandma CHOSE to spread Light and Joy and Love wherever she went to whomever she touched.

I love you Grandma!